Tuesday, March 4, 2008

I dont want no pickle: The return of the Jerkin’ Gherkin

Yesterday was the first day of true spring-like weather which explains the skirt I am sporting today. However, as I got on my bike and started pedalling towards work, I realized that spring does not only bring skirts and t-shirts. It also seems to bring on a sort of unsettled feeling. I have felt it as I am sure you have. It is a potpourri feeling that combines emotions like sex, euphoria and aggression. This commotion of emotion can manifest in all sorts of ways.

This morning I bore witness to its affects. I have spoken often about crazy people I find along the bike lane. And not too long ago I expressed my dissatisfaction that I had not found any of late. Though, like a crocus flower just below the surface waiting for the warmth of spring, they too were hiding - the crazy people that pump my adrenalin in the morning, hiss at me, wave newspapers in my face so that I can't see and nearly kill me or at least knock me off my bike and leave me laying on the ground with my skirt at my neck and my bright orange panties for all to see.

Like every morning, I passed the digital clock that every morning confirms that I am late to work and waited to cross the street. Recently, I have observed an influx of bikers. We can be up to twenty waiting for the light to change green. As we chaotically crossed this morning, everyone trying to get ahead of another, I noticed that a man on foot didn't make the light so he began to run across the street. I knew with the oncoming car traffic my bike lane was his only hope for safety. I slowed down to make way. As I did, a runaway biker, aka the Jerkin' Gherkin, came bolting at me at top speed, swerving not to hit the runner but not taking me into account. As I skid to avoid him, all I could come up with in response is "GEEZ LOUISE". All the way to work I thought, "Am I getting soft?" Geez Louise. Is that the best I could do? Well, at least I shouted it.